Crl+Alt+Del

My systems are down
I wish i could just hit Control, Alt, delete -bring up my task manager---
I'd look at all the programs running slow--love life, finances, health, & career.
In the status corner it would say
--Not responding--
I wish could just hit control a-
select them all ---
& shut them down...
I wish I could click on Norton & run a virus check ...
-it would pull up all my insecurities
And delete them...
I wish I could clear off my desk top--
Put everything in nice rows
I wish I could go to into my control pannel-
I'd head straight for add or remove programs
Uninstall anger, fear, & jealousy
I wish I could go to manage my system
I'd run a disk space
Free up some memory- compress the thoughts of him
I wish I could go into appearances
Scroll through & select a new background
I wish i could log on-line &
Download a new version of me
I'd likd to see 2.0.1.0 me
I wish I could back up all my goals on an external drive
I'd like to hibernate after moments of no use
I wish I could just hit restart when frozen in a situation
Or log off when I am not working like I'm suppose to

Alcohol

One sip
Turns to two then three
One drink turns to four then five
I feel so alive as I dip and I dive
Around the bend
Here's a fin, lets begin
Our downwards spiral
Down, down we go
Headed to the dance floor
We never should have started
Now we actin hella retarted
Laughing, dancing, flirting-just doing
our thing
Answering the phone when it rings
Knowing we can't hear a fucking thing
As Beyonce tells him to put a ring on it...
We swag and surf our way to the bar
Which seems kinda far
Pushing through the crowd
Its hella loud
We shout back and forth
Aint I ... So fresh and so clean... Clean
Order another round
We still get'n down
Bogus Dudes grabbing our waist
Time to put em in their place
As one sip turns to two then three
The sound of the clock keeps going tick tock
Last call is announced
Time to bounce
But Where to next
Where's the waitress with the check
My eyes are blurry as I head to the lex
Outside the air is chill-
Now I wondering if I paid my bill
Ooh girl My hair is matted
Some one shouts Let's go get tatted
In a drunken haze we raise our hands to slap 5...
Miss each other by a mile wide
Giggles erupt
People turn to stare
But we don't care
Stilettos pinching
Dress rising
Make up caking
Cause at the end of the night
We'll laugh and we'll fight
But once that drink gets in sight
we Know everything will be all rite

Lonely No More

i am fully clothed, yet i feel as though i am bare as the day i was born
in a crowd room, but can't hear a single sound
looking around i see people with no faces
loneliness creeps in and evades my spaces
one by one they disappear
leaving me in a room with no rear
from light to dark
i remain
alone on a deserted plain
left with my thoughts to comfort me
walking silently
muted by pain
filled with disdain
wondering what i have left to gain
then a small voice whispers
you are not alone, beloved
i have come for you
who are you, i ask
slowly the darkness gives way to light
again the voice comes to me
i am, the i am

Out of darkness i bring you light
only then do i notice
the single door
Come to Me Beloved
My Blood has set you free
What beauty stands before me
i will never be able to describe
i turn and run into the arms of
my father, lonely no more.

The Darkest Time

The darkest times are when you are not here
fear creeps in and sits next to me
it smiles in my face and laughs at my tears
it jolts my pride and mocks my pain
the darkest times are when you are not here
to calm the waves of grief welling up inside of me
drowning in my own sorrow
alone besides the shadows of darkness that threaten to consume me
the darkest times are when you are not here
the power struggle has begun
you already know who has won
traded in my soul for what...
the darkest times are when you are not here.

The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script

Lyrics:
Going back to the corner,
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money
They don't understand,
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
What else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says "Son you cant stay here"
I say there's someone I'm waiting for if its a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground,
even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy,
thats waiting in on a girl
Woooaah -oooh
There are no holes in his shoes,
But a big hole in his world
Oooooh
Maybe I'll get famous for the man who can't be moved,
and maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news,
and you'd come running to the corner,
Cause' you'll know its just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who cant be moved

Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
(Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag; I'm not gonna move

No Sex in the City

Single female, proud to say...
No stranger to love, but I stay far away
Could wrap my legs around you for a round or two...
But the question always remains, will you know what to do?
One moment seems so right -- I decide to spend the night
Wet kisses, heavy breathing -- are you loving me or seizing ?
A mad game you claim, as I try to tame the movements...
so distracted by the awkwardness of the moment, my mind begins to wonder...
Calculate a list of tasks I have to undertake...
As soon as I fake this ahh... ending...
Hmm, did I remember to TIVO Sex in the City ...
I look up at him -- hurry have pity...
Dirty words he whisper as he ask me how it feels....
First thought is -- "is this ni**a for real"...
But, "oh yeah baby" is what I say, telling him how I've waited for this all day...
Steady counting the minutes, the seconds... reminded of an episode of Sex in the City...
"Is it better to 'fake it' than be alone?"...oh, wait time to moan...
All I kept thinking is how I'd rather be alone then forced to pretend...
I look out the window, skylines a blazing... My eyes float to the clock...
11 on the dot...
He smiles down on me, i think its going to end...
Eyes float to the TV... expecting a red dot to appear...
As he smacks my rear... and collapses.
Negative... ZERO...nada.
great, just great I've been screwed out of Sex in the City -- figuratively and literally-- twice today.

Untitled

* disclaimer:
Not my true story... but it could be someone elses out there.



Untitled

For me right now its hard to say that i never thought i'd face this day. Alone tired and a shamed. I was afraid when they called my name. One step two steps three. The whole time I just kept asking how could this happen to me. Violated and underestimated. Sorrowful looks as I walked passed. Man, I hate that ass. A gentel caress soon became a hard smack as the sound of my screaming went slack. Buttons flying underwear ripping - then tears dripping. Hand sliding from throat to naval. Mad that I wasn't able-- to stop the pain... he said I was the one to blame. Legs spread wide, feeling nothing but cold inside. Room spinning, eyes tightly shut, a forcefuly thust, now deeply cut. Clinching my hips and then rubbing my breast, its a moment I'll never forget. Five minutes, felt like an eternity especially cause he was burning me. As he pushed in deeper- I kept praying for the grim reaper. Captivated by his charm, didn't think he could do me any harm. Left myself open to this endless round of chockin and unwanted strokin. Faster and faster he went, suddenly collapsing because he was spent. The weight of his body crushed as I gushed out air I didn't even know I was holdin in. He rolled over and off the bed. Held a gun to my head. Said if I told anyone I'd be dead. He grabbed my face and made me look him in the eye- this time I refused to cry. As I looked at the man who stole my male trust, all cause he was feeling a fit of lust. The hospital workers fell in a hush as I told them the story about my crush. I told them I wanted to take a shower, it had been nearly half an hour. I asked if they could hurry with the examination. I apologize for not coming here sooner, for a long time I just laid in bed, feeling my heart turn to lead and praying that come morning I'd be dead.Tears rolled down my face as I felt the warm embrace of first the doctor and then the nurse. She handed me my purse and with a soft curse I climbed down from the hospital bed, tried to walk on legs that were battered and bruised. I past a mirror and became starteled and confused.I didn't recognize The person stairing back at me