Crl+Alt+Del

My systems are down
I wish i could just hit Control, Alt, delete -bring up my task manager---
I'd look at all the programs running slow--love life, finances, health, & career.
In the status corner it would say
--Not responding--
I wish could just hit control a-
select them all ---
& shut them down...
I wish I could click on Norton & run a virus check ...
-it would pull up all my insecurities
And delete them...
I wish I could clear off my desk top--
Put everything in nice rows
I wish I could go to into my control pannel-
I'd head straight for add or remove programs
Uninstall anger, fear, & jealousy
I wish I could go to manage my system
I'd run a disk space
Free up some memory- compress the thoughts of him
I wish I could go into appearances
Scroll through & select a new background
I wish i could log on-line &
Download a new version of me
I'd likd to see 2.0.1.0 me
I wish I could back up all my goals on an external drive
I'd like to hibernate after moments of no use
I wish I could just hit restart when frozen in a situation
Or log off when I am not working like I'm suppose to

No Sex in the City

Single female, proud to say...
No stranger to love, but I stay far away
Could wrap my legs around you for a round or two...
But the question always remains, will you know what to do?
One moment seems so right -- I decide to spend the night
Wet kisses, heavy breathing -- are you loving me or seizing ?
A mad game you claim, as I try to tame the movements...
so distracted by the awkwardness of the moment, my mind begins to wonder...
Calculate a list of tasks I have to undertake...
As soon as I fake this ahh... ending...
Hmm, did I remember to TIVO Sex in the City ...
I look up at him -- hurry have pity...
Dirty words he whisper as he ask me how it feels....
First thought is -- "is this ni**a for real"...
But, "oh yeah baby" is what I say, telling him how I've waited for this all day...
Steady counting the minutes, the seconds... reminded of an episode of Sex in the City...
"Is it better to 'fake it' than be alone?"...oh, wait time to moan...
All I kept thinking is how I'd rather be alone then forced to pretend...
I look out the window, skylines a blazing... My eyes float to the clock...
11 on the dot...
He smiles down on me, i think its going to end...
Eyes float to the TV... expecting a red dot to appear...
As he smacks my rear... and collapses.
Negative... ZERO...nada.
great, just great I've been screwed out of Sex in the City -- figuratively and literally-- twice today.

Untitled

* disclaimer:
Not my true story... but it could be someone elses out there.



Untitled

For me right now its hard to say that i never thought i'd face this day. Alone tired and a shamed. I was afraid when they called my name. One step two steps three. The whole time I just kept asking how could this happen to me. Violated and underestimated. Sorrowful looks as I walked passed. Man, I hate that ass. A gentel caress soon became a hard smack as the sound of my screaming went slack. Buttons flying underwear ripping - then tears dripping. Hand sliding from throat to naval. Mad that I wasn't able-- to stop the pain... he said I was the one to blame. Legs spread wide, feeling nothing but cold inside. Room spinning, eyes tightly shut, a forcefuly thust, now deeply cut. Clinching my hips and then rubbing my breast, its a moment I'll never forget. Five minutes, felt like an eternity especially cause he was burning me. As he pushed in deeper- I kept praying for the grim reaper. Captivated by his charm, didn't think he could do me any harm. Left myself open to this endless round of chockin and unwanted strokin. Faster and faster he went, suddenly collapsing because he was spent. The weight of his body crushed as I gushed out air I didn't even know I was holdin in. He rolled over and off the bed. Held a gun to my head. Said if I told anyone I'd be dead. He grabbed my face and made me look him in the eye- this time I refused to cry. As I looked at the man who stole my male trust, all cause he was feeling a fit of lust. The hospital workers fell in a hush as I told them the story about my crush. I told them I wanted to take a shower, it had been nearly half an hour. I asked if they could hurry with the examination. I apologize for not coming here sooner, for a long time I just laid in bed, feeling my heart turn to lead and praying that come morning I'd be dead.Tears rolled down my face as I felt the warm embrace of first the doctor and then the nurse. She handed me my purse and with a soft curse I climbed down from the hospital bed, tried to walk on legs that were battered and bruised. I past a mirror and became starteled and confused.I didn't recognize The person stairing back at me

Black Baby Cry

Black baby, tell me why you cry?
Is it cause you ain't red-boned like the others
With the long silky hair they got from their white mothers?
Black baby, tell me why you cry?
Is it cause the guys be giving you the side eye when you walk by?
Black baby, tell me why you cry ?
Life's not fair my dear
So don't shed a tear
Cause it's your black beauty that they fear
With your rich coco skin
Cherry Red lips
You've got what the ol' school calls -- birthin' hips
Black baby, tell me why you cry?
Is it cause when you turn on the TV
All you see is skinny girls
Waving their diamonds and pearls
Shaking their ass -- without much class
Black baby, tell me why you cry?
You fail to see what you could be
If you just dried your eyes
Look past the perception of what beauty is
Black baby, tell me why you cry?

Karma

Sorry, sorry, sorry
Let me say it again
I can't pretend- I didn't know what I was doin, when I was ruinin your life
Tried to play you like a spade--ace, king, queen... and sometimes two
Little did I know karma was sneaking around on behalf of you...
And you... And you... And oh, definitely you...
Dug my grave as you gave me your heart
Told you from the start what I wanted from you
Tried to call me your boo and I split screaming-- I'm rubber your glue...
Time and time again I'd see karma lurking in the shadows
Tried to keep to myself -- saying it don't matter
But then it struck...
And up went my luck
Like a balloon in the sky, weaving side to side, its own little wave of good-bye
Karma got me good, dead straight between the eyes
No more lies and fake tearful goodbyes
No more its not you but me...
Then going around the corner to be with...
Well, I'm not going to name no names
Cause karma has put me to shame
And thrown this ole' girl out the game
I was the best at what it is I do...
They say what goes around comes around,
So watch out cause now that Karma is done with me...
Its coming for you