Thought I loved Him

I thought I loved him
But I really don't know many nites I prayed for him-i just couldn't let go.
Days, months, and years passed and it was all the same...
A shudder went down my body when I heard his name
For too long I waited while he screwed around and dated
He had this way of looking at me-it made me glow
I smiled when I talked about him, got excited when he called
And then one day I felt nothing @ all.
I thought I needed him to be strong-but what I did not realize was that I was all along
He has this way of making me feel small, he'd forget to call-he'd do his thing
And I would say nothing at all.
How could we share our lives together without sharing our lives?
How could he not tell me things, but expect me too
I felt as though I did not know him-in love with a stranger
That's the first sign of danger
I only said I love you because you expected me too.
There were things I could not do with you I tried & tried but never wanted to.
I'm not bothered by thoughts of you being unfaithful…
If anything I would find you ungrateful for the years I sacrificed and cried…
While you played and screwed around like other guys.
The only thing I ever wanted you to do was acknowledge me to those that mattered to you
And since you could not do what I asked of you-
I knew that I could never really love you-
But that I had to because finally you thought you loved me.
Every opportunity that you had to express that love; you flew away gracefully like a beautiful white dove…
Leaving me alone to wonder how I would ever recover from this strange love